Selling Out for a Hot Chick

I'm in PetSmart the other night getting some food for my rather manly sized dog-- Ally the Weimaraner. A strong breed from a strong Republic bred under the strictest of authority.

So I'm in line waiting to pay and there is one of most smoking hot chicks you'll ever see...and she's hanging out with a dude who's just normal looking, at best.

How does a normal ole chode hook up with a chick this hot and my friend Zack can't even get a date with the local divorced nymphomaniac?

Well, I noticed that he sold his soul because he was holding, not one, but two friggin' rat dogs.

I mean, I understand doing some things for a hot chick-- like dating one of her fat friends just to get closer to the hot chick-- but a chihuahua? Why? Dude has sold out his manliness. When this chick has gotten her fill of making him pay for her furs, paint her apartment and just generally kiss her ass, she's gonna dump him like last week's rubbish.

And you know what? He's gonna have to come back to the campfire with the real men and all we'll be able to say is "sorry man. we don't know you any longer." And we'll have to turn our backs on this disgrace of a man.