Standoff in the Stalls

When did we become so bashful in the bathroom?

You're in a stall, what you do in there-- whatever bodily function related noises you make-- can be done with complete anonymity.

So why do people get in there and get all quiet? My friend, Paul T., and I used to coin it "playing the quiet game." People in the stalls would hear someone enter the bathroom and get completely quiet until that person had left. It's even worse when someone hits a stall next to them- they pray that you'll finish and be out quickly so they can get back to pooing.

So Paul and I used to attack the people playing the quiet game. We'd find a victim and get in the stall next to them-- even though etiquette dictates that you NEVER go into a stall next to someone else. After making the victim nervous enough by moving in next door we'd then "punk them out". That is, we'd engage in the loudest and most violent poo we could generate to try and flush the victim out.

And Paul was the master-- I swear he used to eat baby food and jalepenos for breakfast. On time, he scared a victim so badly they nearly came running out of the stall.

So I just left stall 2 at ILS where stalls 1 and 3 were playing the quiet game. And man they were deadlocked. I think they were holding their breath to be as quiet as possible. At the rate those two were going they'll (a) either be in those stalls all day or (2) someone will pull out the white surrender flag and leave without finishing their business.

Just grow up and poo like adults, people.