Why Is "That" In There?

In the men's bathroom at ILS, there is a large dispenser of hand lotion. And I'm not talking Wal-Mart or Target large, I'm talking Sam's Club, use a weight-lifting belt and dolly to move this thing around, large. It's so big that one person has to jump up and down on the dispenser while another catches the lotion.

But size is irrelevant, right?

My point is that hand lotion in the men's bathroom is kinda creepy. It would be okay in the women's bathroom because women seem to understand that lotion is made to moisturize your hands. The amount of time it stays on a guy's hand is directly correlated with how long it takes them to grab their weiner and start the choking games.

I reckon the next time I go in the bathroom I'm gonna take the lotion in a stall with me. When I hear someone come in the bathroom, I'll come out of the stall with my clothes disheveled and the lotion bottle in one hand and declare "oh man, I needed that."

I bet they'll remove the bottle, or me, at that point.