Gary Z's Crappy Double Standard for the Day

You're gonna hear me rant every once in a while about the War of Northern aggression.

So I'm doing some light reading the other day-- the Emancipation Proclomation-- because this document gave rise to the phrase "pimpin' ain't easy.

Here's what they tell us in school because they sure as hell know we're not gonna go read the document on our own. I mean, the friggin' internet had not been invented by Al Gore yet. Anyway, back to what they tell us in school: "When Abe signed the EP, slavery ended and all the slaves were set free." Period.

But not so fast my friend.

The EP only freed slaves in States that were trying to secede. Northerners were still free to own slaves. Hmmmmm, here's your text:

"...all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free..."

Abe even goes further and lists those states/counties/parishes where slavery is illegal:

"Arkansas, Texas, Louisiana, (except the Parishes of St. Bernard, Plaquemines, Jefferson, St. John, St. Charles, St. James Ascension, Assumption, Terrebonne, Lafourche, St. Mary, St. Martin, and Orleans, including the City of New Orleans) Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Virginia, (except the forty-eight counties designated as West Virginia, and also the counties of Berkley, Accomac, Northampton, Elizabeth City, York, Princess Ann, and Norfolk, including the cities of Norfolk and Portsmouth[)]..."

Interesting stuff.