garyzyriek.com: Friday Fun

A few quotes I overheard lately in the college football world-- but mostly a dediction to Brady Quinn.

"Hi."

When you go to ND and you're as hot as Brady Quinn, a "hi" is really all it takes to get dates, job offers or full-ownership of most North America corporations.

"Maybe I'll make one of those 'BCS Sucks' signs for College Gameday."

Auburn Coach Tommy Tuberville contemplates more ways to get additional exposure on ESPN.

"Oyoyoyoyoyoyo, ribbble rabbble runk. Oyoyoyoyo."

Ole Miss Coach O and his typical pregame pep talk.

"Whew. Y'all see Notre Dame get housed by Michigan when they had the #2 spot? That'll never happen to us. Pass me another beer."

Auburn defensive line shortly before kickoff against Arkansas

"Hahahahaahahaha !!!! We beat Baylor !! We beat Baylor !! Pass me another beer."

Kansas head football coach Mark Mangino at halftime of their game versus Baylor. For those not in the know, Baylor went on to erase an 18 point deficit in the second half and win by 1 point. Perhaps Kansas will learn to drink light beer next time.

"We beat Notre Dame !! We beat Notre Dame !! Pass me another beer !!"

What's with folks getting tanked before the game ends? Man, I sense a recurring theme here. This time from Michigan State AND UCLA.

"Ohmagosh. Is that Magnum? It's so beautiful. I can't look away. I can't feel my body."

Brady flashes Magnum. UCLA loses its ability to play defense. Touchdown Jesus.

"Some gunplay, homeless people galore, maybe a knife fight... it's not a party 'til someone gets stabbed, right?"

Liberty Bowl executives sell the virtues of bringing an SEC team to the outskirts of the Mound for a football game

"Nah, I tell y'all honestly. I think Auburn folks are more upset about the Tuberville situation than Ole Miss folks are."

One of LP's family members talking to me about football while trying to win the award for "Most Idiotic Football-Related Statement.... Ever."

"Dog, we're just playing for draft position now. Huh? There's not a draft in college football? Oh, sh1t !!"

Four Ole Miss players after testing positive for marijuana use-- they were tested the DAY AFTER the Arkansas game where they gave up the opening kickoff for a TD and then were blown out 38-3

"Baby, I say <insert team here> is gonna roll tonight-- YEAH !! They're gonna win HUGE !!"

If you're a fan of <insert team here>, these are the last words you want to hear out of Lee Corso's mouth. So menacing are his college football predictions that it's even been tagged "Corso's Curse."

"We're gonna explode in the SEC this year."

Actually, this is a real quote from Ole Miss receiver Dexter McCluster after their win over Memphis. If beating Vandy qualifies as "exploding" in the SEC this year, then Dexter is dead on.

"What's the over-under on me beating yo' white ass with a pipe in the parking lot?"