White Death 2007

So the prediction is for a wintry mix tonight in Memphis. I could go on my rant about folks storming Kroger to buy all the canned goods, water and batteries they can get their hands on, but I've worn that diatribe out.

We overreact around here when we hear the words "ice" or "snow" in the forecast, I won't doubt that. And living in the South where we have 300+ days of sunshine per year, we're totally unequipped to keep our roads cleared. So we're kinda disabled when we get bad winter weather and the folks who do venture out in their 4X4's and think they can conquer the ice usually end up eating a guardrail or concrete divider.

But people in the "real" North make fun of us for this. They brag they have snowplows running as soon as the first flake touches asphalt. They mock us and laugh that we close down the city for a week because of 2 inches of snow.

Well, let me turn this around on my arrogant Northern brethren. You guys know when you get the freakish spell of hot weather in the summer? It's 100 degrees with 50% humidity and you're all whining "ohhhh, my skin's on fire. I'm dehyrdated and my neighbors are all dying from heat stroke, WAAAAAAAAAAAH !!! I can't go outside to get to work because the tires on my car just melted, WAAAAAAAAAH !!!"

In the South, we call 100 degrees and 50% humidity "a fine day for a stroll around the block with the family." It's so hot and humid here that it feels like you're roasting in a wet potato sack in a convection oven. But we don't get all pissy and start dying left and right. We just hit the city pool; "G's up, watch my cannonball !!!"

Mock us now, but remember bitches, August is just around the corner.