Kinda Like My Day at The Office

Worthy portions of article: "somebody made an error in a couple lines of the code and everything goes." However, I don't write code that controls fighter jets.

Lockheed's shiny new F-22 Raptor stealth fighters may have owned a few war games, but crossing the International Date Line left them as helpless as a carrot in a rabbit trap, with multiple system crashes causing an emergency detour en route from Hawaii to Okinawa, Japan. Communication, fuel subsystems, and navigation systems were rendered useless and repeated "reboots" were of no help. Luckily, the fleet had clear skies and refueling tankers to guide them back to Hawaii. If they had separated from the tankers, "they would have turned around and probably could have found the Hawaiian Islands. But if the weather had been bad on approach, there could have been real trouble," states Retired Air Force Major General Don Shepperd. The voyage suffered a two-day delay on account of the system failures -- "a computer glitch in the millions of lines of code, somebody made an error in a couple lines of the code and everything goes." What should have been a showy parade of $125+ million super fighters quickly turned to disaster for Lockheed who would've had a lot of explaining to do, had this happened during combat.

Hard Work

Wouldn't it just be easier to keep having babies and collecting welfare like the rest of the scammers?

TACOMA, Washington (AP) -- A woman admitted Monday that she coached her two children to fake retardation starting when they were 4 and 8 years old so she could collect Social Security benefits on their behalf.

Rosie Costello, 46, admitted in U.S. District Court that she collected more than $280,000 in benefits, beginning in the mid-1980s. Most was from Social Security, but the state social services agency paid $53,000.

Costello pleaded guilty to conspiracy to defraud the government and Social Security fraud. Her son, Pete, 26, pleaded guilty earlier this month. Federal prosecutors in Seattle said Monday authorities had not yet located her daughter, Marie.

According to the plea agreement, Costello began coaching her daughter at age 4, and later used the same ruse with her son. He feigned retardation into his mid-20s -- picking at his face, slouching and appearing uncommunicative in meetings with Social Security officials.

Social Security workers became suspicious and uncovered a video of Pete Costello ably contesting a traffic ticket in a Vancouver courtroom.

Pete Costello is scheduled to be sentenced May 11 and faces from six months to a year in prison, as well as $59,000 in restitution.

Rosie Costello is scheduled for sentencing May 17. Her standard sentencing range was not immediately available, but in the plea agreement she agreed to repay the government.

Hustle 'N No

If the extreme obesity rates, rankings for least healthy city in America, least desirable city in America in which to live, infant mortality rate, teenage pregnancy, uber uh-litericie rate, horrible public school system, floundering economic base, inadequate city government and the Ford family did not depress you enough about Memfuss, I've got another to throw in the mix: Craig Brewer's Hustle 'N Flow, shot right here in our fair city.

If this movie had an impact it was only because of its profane stirring of emotion via pure shock. A thinly veiled plot coupled with a ho' handling sexploiting wannabe rapper make me rate this movie as a "must miss."

In all fairness I guess I'll give it 3/5 stars only because I can be lead to believe that there are hookers as hot as Taryn Manning turning tricks for $20. But that's all Hollywood dreamy stuff. This is Memphis, y'all. It ain't gonna happen. For $20 you're getting a 300 lb. Lamar Ave. street trotter who's gonna leave you smelling like day old barbeque and give you a severe rash to remind you of your trip to the River City / Bluff City / Whatever else we're called.

Welcome to Memphis, where you expected this...


...but you ended up with this....

Can We Please Pretend This is a Joke?

Remember I said I was not going to take unnecessary shots at this lil' town I like to call Memfuss? I'm gonna keep that promise. However, this is a necessary shot.

What the phuck are we doing in Memphis?

I can't wait 'til gang members start flagging with KKK hoods, Confederate battle flags and Lynard Skynard t-shirts.

From WMC Stations-- Memphis

Gangs Sporting New Look

It is one of America's most popular pastimes. But, while Nascar drivers are staying on track, gang members are spinning their wheels by using race wear to send secret messages.

"Sometimes it can mean things in gang language or it could just be a true fan," says Shelby County Investigator, Anthony Buckner. "I mean you wear a Nascar jacket that's as innocent as it can be."

But, in certain circles, its not about Nascar. Shelby County gang investigators have spotted a new and disturbing trend in gang wear- the use of Nascar clothing to signify gang affiliation.

Ask some of the people who drive the M and M 38 car and they can't tell you they're not a Nascar fan.

The nuance is in the number. The 38 on the M and M car for example: translation- three minus 8 is negative-5, which represents the 5 point star that identifies the street gang "People Nation".

Junior's Budweiser car: Sheriff's deputies say Bud equals Bloods-another gang.

"Of course the everyday lay person in the community, they don't realize what this means," says Shelby County gang investigator, James Pavatte.

While Nascar is the newest fashion fad, investigators find gang symbolism in many team and brand logos.

"Could mean one thing to a fan of a team but to a child it could be representing some type of gang or sending a message out," says Buckner.

Deputies decipher the Dallas Cowboys logo as an acronym for "Crips on the Westside Blasting on You Slobs".

Which means that the Crips are trying to send a message to the street organization, The Bloods.

The Duke logo means "Diciples Utilizing Knowledge Every Day." Adidas stands for "All day I Diss On Any Slobs."

Translating gang signs isn't as simple as spotting clothing and bandana colors anymore.

The newest way takes a message from the track to the streets, infringing on a loyal fan base that spans the country.

Buckner adds, "the gang members are just taking that product and using it in a way that it wasn't designed."

A fashion statement racing fans and police would like to see ride out of style as quickly as it rode in.

We asked local racing officials to comment on this story. The Vice President and General Manager of Memphis Motorsports Park realeased the following statement:

"We understand that this has been a local and national trend, unfortunately, both with collegiate and professional sports attire - not just NASCAR. On race weekends at our facility, the fans that sport NASCAR apparel, colors and driver numbers are doing what they have done for years - simply showing their support for 'their' favorite driver."

If you see something you interpret as evidence of a gang but you're not sure, you can report it on the Shelby County Sheriff's Department website.

They will research it and get back to you. You can also call them at 901-385-5186. Tips can be made anonymously both ways.

A Dialog Between Friends

I actually have the EXACT conversation saved in my PDA, but I'll spare you my uber nerdiness.

So a couple of my friends are chatting one day and to paraphrase:
Danny: It won't be long before Britney Spears is playing in casinos in Tunica.
Paul: No way... she's gonna be a star 'til the day she dies.

So when I see headlines like "Britney Shaves Off Hair After Leaving Rehab" and then there are sites like BuyBritneysHair.com, who am I to believe is the more correct of my two friends?

We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off, To Have a Good Time, Oh No

I guess if I was being seduced by a women, I'd prefer coy and subtly flirtatious. Karla, your forceful nature makes be believe that you're no lady, you're a professional at this.

I'm so turned off by your aggressiveness. Please be more gentle next time.

Hi Gary,

Henry gave me your request, and I wanted to very quickly let you know of the vehicle that is currently available...The pre-owned Expeditions are selling about as fast as we get them in!

I am off tomorrow, but because these are turning over so quickly, I will be glad to meet you here if you’ll just let me know what time is convenient. I’m afraid if we wait until Wednesday, the truck will be gone....

Sincerely,
Karla Hester
Internet Sales
Landers Ford

1. If the vehicles sell that quickly then get your arse off email and go talk to the line of people outside waiting to buy this car.

2. Karla, don't send me an email with a bad link to your site. That's just not good.

3. Last time I checked FoMoCo was in the pooper with sales. Are used Fords suddenly in hot demand? Unlikely.

4. Karla, please check my blog (The Hopped Up Mustang Mullet Fund ticker). I'm no longer in the market for a larger family car. I'm joining a band and racing my 'stang around town.

Cool New App

Start > Programs > hmmmm, looking, looking, looking, ah there it is....

No more mouse (almost), no more searching. I got turned on to a free app called Launchy.

From your desktop you hit ALT + Space. The Launchy window pops up and you start typing the program you wish to launch. Launcy basically searches everything in your programs list to find the best match. You then simply hit enter and it launches your program for you.

Daddy like easy.

Bad resolution screenshot:

Readers, Your Input Needed...

I failed to renew the CoachZ.com domain and now someone is holding it hostage.

So I need a new domain name. Any ideas? I figure it's gonna have to cover Zyriek Coaching Services and Zyriek Consulting Services-- nice multi-use of acronyms, eh?

Coaching is no longer a valid project, I just use it as a store front since I'm still involved with some cycling things that get me sponsorship.

Please leave your comments and ideas.

You can check to see if a domain is in use at NetSol.com

BTW-- ZCS.com is already taken. Drats.

Bustin' My Chopz

I guess I'm gonna have to do more updates. My bro-in-law relayed that he doesn't check on blogs that only get updated once every 3 weeks.

Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark. So here's our Monday morning musings.

Have Fun in Hell Mocking God, New Jersey
New Jersey has just allowed civil unions. I figure the next logical step is allowing full out same-sex marriage. Nice work guys, I think I hear the gnashing of teeth that is your eternal separation from God. Is there anything that the non-Christian society won't allow? Do we feel the need to allow people to indulge in EVERY freedom they desire? Of course, the Episcopals allowed a gay minister and the Catholics hid massive acts of pedophilia. Perhaps it's not secular v. religious, it's America. We better get ourselves together and act like we believe in something.

Satan Working Wonders in My Life Too
So I'm too strong to let evil work it's way in my life through random wife beatings, murder, adultery, getting married to another man (nice, New Jersey), etc. Satan has a much better way of working me like a tool-- TOO MANY GOOD THINGS GOING ON. So I take Spanish class, play the guitar, play golf, work on outside web projects, workout, etc. The end result- I'm impossible to live with because I'm always so run down. So at the urging of my loved ones I'll try to cut back just a tad.

Don't Taunt the Oprah
From People magazine. Oprah opens a school in South Africa, spending millions of dollars on the project. At first I'm angry, then LP reads part of the article to me which goes like this

"I became so frustrated with visiting inner-city schools that I just stopped going. The sense that you need to learn just isn't there," she said. "If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don't ask for money or toys. They ask for uniforms so they can go to school."

Yes Opera, you rule. America, let's get our shizzle together.

TV Fund
You'll notice my TV Fund on the right bar. The goal is a TV purchase in August. However, with the cost of the entertainment center looking to exceed the actual TV cost I'm thinking of more options over the TV. Perhaps, running the TV fund for 3 more years then paying cash for a hopped up Mustang? We can call it my "Hopped Up Mustang Mullet Fund." Sweet. That change is going in now.

2 HARD ABP

Did y'all catch the news yesterday (Saturday)? These kind of stories just warm my heart.

Shortly after taking off on a flight from Africa to the Canary Islands, Mohamed Abderraman, aka SKILLET, whips out two 7mm hand guns and demands the flight be diverted to France where he can seek asylum.

First, who the phuck let skillet on the plane with 2 handguns? Skillet-1, Airport Security-0

So skillet is seeking asylum in France, where they speak French, which the pilots learn skillet does not actually speak. So in a communication with the passengers the pilot, speaking French, says something like "I'm landing this bird hard on the tarmac then hitting the gas. When dip sh1t hits the ground, y'all administer a prison style beat down."

So the pilot does what the says, ABP 1 throws a pot of boiling water on skillet's face while ABP's 2-50 beat the begeezus out of skillet.

Pilot/Crew/Passengers-1, Skillet-0

Tie break goes against skillet.

ABP = my NWA pilot friend, Paul, told me about a rather boring weeklong training he had to go through with Northwest. He said the highlight was learning hand-to-hand combat with hijackers. I asked if passengers should get involved in these cases. He said that the crew is always looking for Able Bodied Persons to issue ass whippings whenever there is a terrorist situation on a plane. That's why I go on planes jacked up on NO-Explode and Starbucks that I call out anyone of Middle Eastern descent on flights whenever they do ANYTHING-- "HE'S GOT A SODOKU PUZZLE !!! LET'S ROLL !!!!"

Didn't hijackers make things harder on themselves after 9/11? The assumption used to be that if you cooperated with hijackers then all would be okay. Now the assumption is that they wish to crash planes. With that in mind you suddenly have 50-100 people desparately motivated to kick someone's ass 'cause they sure don't feel like dying in a fiery crash.

Wow. I Love My iPod

Yay !! Yo Habla Espanol !!

So I'm only 2 classes into taking Spanish at UM and I'm loving it. I guess this is the 4th language I've learned (however, I don't count my knowledge of German as anything worth using; but who the phuck uses German anyway?) and it seems to be the most learnable and one that makes the most sense.

For example, all the vowels sound the same sound 99.9% percent of the time. This makes a whole lot more sense than stuff in English like "Arkansas" where the a's and s's make different sounds in the same word. Whew, poor foreigners who have to learn our language.

So, hopefully I'm only a year away from knowing enough Spanish to buy a coffee farm in Guatemala. Until then I'm kicking it with one of the coolest stations on Sirius-- Universo Latino.

I'm catching on to Spanish pretty well.

Here's something I can teach you:

An informal greeting you can use, perhaps when seeing some friendly Meximemphicans around town, is "Ay! Mi vagina es grande y muy caliente!"

That means "Wow! What a grand day this is!"

Try it sometime, I'm sure you'll be greeted kindly.

Joke of the Day

Thanks Danny R

The coach had put together the perfect team for the University of Memphis.
The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the
High Schools and even other colleges, but he couldn't find a ringer who
could ensure a Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Iraq.
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Iraqi Muslim Boy
with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a window
from 80 yards away.

Then he threw another from 50 yards that went down a chimney,
and then hit a passing car going 80 miles per hour down the road.

"I've got to get this guy!" the Coach thought to himself, "this kid has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings the young Iraqi kid to the States and teaches him the great
game of football...............and the Tigers go on to win the Rose Bowl.

The young Iraqi is hailed as a great hero of the football game, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Rose Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us.
You are not my son!"

"Mother, I don't think you understand," pleads the son, "I've just won the
greatest College sporting event in the world and the pros will surely be calling me soon!"

"No! let me tell you," his mother retorts. "At this very moment there are
gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two
brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have
to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady pauses then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Memphis!".

Ooooops

So the mayor of San Francisco admits to sleeping with his campaign mangager's wife. Ouch. I mean, I don't condone it but I understand how he might be tempted. His marriage was in ruins I guess he just wanted to take someone else down with him. Plus, she's kinda hot. Okay, enough ambiguous aldultery speak; I guess I'm just relieved that it was a woman he was sticking it to considering the "alternatives" he had in SF.

Slut

New Barbies... Not a Post for the Kids