I Met Her and,Yes, She Was "All Dat"

LP and I went with the Superfriends to Greenwood, MS this past weekend for a little bike riding (that's a "little bike riding" versus a "little bike ride", Alissa). We stayed at the best Greenwood had to offer in the Alluvian. When one stays at a 4-diamond hotel they might expect certain things such as a restaurant also worthy of that 4-diamond rating. If the Alluvian is worthy of 4 diamonds then their in-house restaurant, Giardina's is worthy of 4 diamond chips or 4 CZ's. But I'm basing this mostly on our waitress, Becky. Becky, Becky, Becky.

Had Becky divulged that he had just come off a 5 year stint of working at the bowling alley then I certainly would have been more understanding of the utterly idiotic service she provided. I guess I don't ask too much when eating at a nice restaurant, but a knowledgeable, confident and unobtrusive (that is, they only come into play during dinner when you need them to) waiter is very desirable. But why should I keep rambling when I can just highlight Becky's greatest hits.

LP: Can you tell me about the monkfish?
Becky: That don't even sound right. What is that?
LP: It's your special.
Becky: I wouldn't know what that is if someone told me. [but she goes to kitchen to ask anyway]
Becky returns, stares and ceiling and very robotically declares: "The monkfish is meatier with a milder taste." Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Brian: Is this chicken bone-in? The bone's where all the flavor comes from.
Becky [dazing off at ceiling]: Uh, the meat's where all the flavor is.

Becky drops an empty beer bottle so hard on the floor that I thought someone had cracked a cymbal across my skull.

Only wanting about 2 glasses of wine each (get it, total of 4), Becky suggests that LP and I order the half-bottle. Good conversion on saying that the half-bottle is equal to 4 glasses of wine Becky-- you only missed the mark by 2 glasses.

Okay, enough on wine conversions. I opt for beer.

Me: Becky, do you have any Blue Moon Summer Ale?
Becky: Uh...
Me: It's got a YELLOW label.
Becky: Uh....
Brian steps in to save the day: Becky. Go to the bartender. Ask for a Blue Moon Summer Ale. If he hands you anything then bring it back to us.
Becky: Okay.

Commenting on a dessert item: "That stuff looks like baked gelatin. It don't look very good to me, but I'm not supposed to say that.

Also, I've never seen a blackened fish entree that did not contain a single black speck on but somehow Becky managed to pull it off.

The Claw
A demonstration how HOW NOT to serve a drink to someone (professional re-enactment):

Ugh! She managed to put everyone finger plus a toe on someone's coffee when she brought it. I'm for real, that's how she brought a drink.

I guess we can't blame Becky for the restaurant not having any of the coffee drinks on the menu (save for decaf) but when she came back to give us refills she only filled Brian's and my cup 1/3 full and Meredith got NOTHING. God forbid that Becky run up to Waffle House and fill another carafe with decaf.

I'm gonna stand up and declare that Giardina's, on this night, might have been the worst restaurant I have ever visited. And I'm putting it on the level with Denny's, Del Taco and IHOP-- it was astonishingly that bad.